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Insomnia.

Insomnia.

 

So shallow, yet so deep. My emotions are having the best of me. 

ingen beskrivelse thirst1 tiår siden

 So shallow, yet so deep. My emotions are having the best of me. Dark, tiny room, no one else here, just me and what few senses that are allowed here. I can smell, touch... hear. The scent of him is choking me and I try not to take deep breaths, the smell is worse than poison.


 I touch my face, my cheeks wet with tears, silent tears, I can't hear my self crying, just feel the wet and taste the salt. I can't place the tears. Are they deep or shallow? Tears of rage, sorrow, pain, disappointment, happiness or just an excuse for pity?


 Do I even want pity? I feel pathetic, yet I can't stop weeping. The smell is getting under my skin, I can feel him creeping into me, feel sick. It feels like the floor is moving under my feet, I'm choking, desperately gasping for air, trying to scream out the frustration, but I can't. My mind lets go, everything goes white and I slip, slip and fall. It's unpleasant, it's scaring me, but there's nothing I can do to stop, nothing to hold on to.


 And yet, I'm in the same dark room, with memories of him all around me. I want to let them go, want to forget.


 I scream, let out the agony building up in me, but only silence is there to answer, to comfort, but it doesn't feel like comfort, it feels like a rope around my neck. Something not even there is pulling it tighter and tighter and silently I pass out and finally fall asleep.


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